Little Italy in Thailand

So, there are two stories that relates to this recipe – I promise you it will only take two bullet points, and less time it took Ted Mosby to tell his kids how he met their mother or the number of women he slept with before he met their mother (honestly, if you didn’t get the reference, go seclude yourself under a rock and watch all seven seasons of the appropriately named show, How I Met Your Mother).

1) The Quest: This first story starts three months ago when I tried California Pizza Kitchen’s Chicken Tequila Fettuccini. I mean, look at the three words that makes up the name of the dish:

Chicken + Tequila + Fettuccini
=
Meat + Booze + Pasta

As a college student, what is there not to love? But jokes aside, the perfect combination of lime and cream just took me to sandy beaches and crystal blue ocean water. In a way, it was a tropical vacation on a fork. Since that faithful night three months ago, I was on a pilgrimage to perfect a lime and cream pasta sauce to enjoy without forking (see, what I did there, eh I don’t do standup comedy for a reason) $13.90.
2) The Inspiration: The second story starts when Minerva was making her amazing beer battered tilapia with mandarin oranges. While she was cooking, I was lounging on the counter playing the latest Big Bang Theory episode (Minerva is helping me learn the ways of the Jedi, I mean geek – not that I’m not one already) while being a volunteer taste tester – a job that I take very seriously, thank you very much. However, once I tried the dipping sauce for the fish, the mixture of lime and tomato sauce reminded me of all the Thai curries I used to make at home. And a second taste of the sauce sent me reeling back to a quest that I have put on the back burner (final kitchen joke, I promise) – the perfect lime and cream sauce.

Without further ado, I humbly present my first (as Minerva calls) freestyle recipe onto The Kitchen of Requirement.
On the topic of pasta sauce, in the wise words of the pasta master Mario Batali, the sauce is simply a coating on pasta. You do not drown the pasta in sauce; you simply use it as a condiment to the pasta as you would use ketchup to a hotdog. In fact, the Italian word for sauce is similar to the English term: condiment. Thank you very much, now I would insert some fancy Italian words into this paragraph but unfortunately, the Kitchen of Requirement only has two Chileans and one Taiwanese (minimal Italian knowledge here).

*Disclaimer: This recipe is in no ways authentic Asian.  If you are ever served this in an “authentic Asian restaurant”, run – it’s not authentic, just saying, and you’re probably getting ripped off!*

Little Italy in Thailand Pasta Sauce

2 liberal tablespoons of butter
½ cup of cream
Juice and zest of 1 lime
3 small shallots (diced)
1 ½ tomatoes (diced)
1 tablespoon of paprika
1 cup of the Holy Grail tomato sauce
1 large pinch of thyme
1 large pinch of salt

Melt the butter on a hot pan and sauté the shallots.
Add the Holy Grail tomato sauce along with the diced tomatoes. Also, season with the paprika, thyme, and salt to taste. Simmer for 7 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Pour in ½ cup of cream along with the juice and zest of 1 lime. Stir and let it come to a simmer for 5 minutes.

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