The Mitt Romney Dumplings

Tonks solemnly swears that she will update the blog this week. That was last week. In my defense, I had finals last week and it wasn’t in Concealment and Disguise (#MetamorphicWin); thus, studying was required – you wouldn’t want me to fail my Auror exams, now would you?

Unfortunately, the blog was neglected; maybe it is time to invest in the Quick-Quotes Quills, so now it’s time to give The Kitchen of Requirement some “good loving”.

Without further ado, The Kitchen of Requirement is once again open for business and I humbly present to you my recipe for Mitt Romney Dumplings.

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Burgers with Lime Mayonnaise

The intent was to successfully finish our epic fish marathon.  Our game plan was extensive and detailed.  The tilapia would be blackened to hide the fact that we were still eating fish.  As a further precaution, the tilapia would then be served with lime mayonnaise and as a sandwich to mask the texture and taste of tilapia.  And in celebration we invited Cedric to aid in the disappearance of the tilapia.

At least… that was the plan.

If I had a nickel for every plan I made, I’d be a very, very rich person.

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Hidden Salmon Crouching Rice

The title of the post is brought to you by Minerva: a leader in training young padawans in the ways of the geek. And I just found out that my laptop spell check does not support Jedi terminologies. Shame on it.
Now, back to your regular programming.
As you know by now, during these past two weeks we have been slowly but surely trudging our way through huge quantities of salmon and tilapia. I swear I have little ghosts of fishes swimming out of my ears by now – and that’s not a good thing. I would love to insert a cartoon of someone pulling a fish out of his/her ear but clearly Google couldn’t find it. Hence it doesn’t exist in the world.
Jokes aside, the creation of the Hidden Salmon Crouching Rice was a result of an atrocious day. Not even a bad day, but an atrociously day to the point I found a bitter Sith happiness that the weather matched my stormy mood (for future references, the Dark Side does have cookies). On the way home from work at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, I just wanted something quick, comforting like fried rice, and anything that hid the fishy smell/taste/site/essence/existence of salmon that I had to cook. Thus, if you want to have a stronger salmon flavor feel free to use more salmon.
Thus, I humbly present to you my recipe for Hidden Salmon Crouching Rice.

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Grilled Salmon with Mushrooms and Shallot Sauce

Facts of life: I love salmon.  I love mushrooms.  And I love shallots.  So when I saw a recipe that included salmon AND mushrooms AND shallots I pretty much passed out from anticipation.

In fact, I was so excited that I neglected to read the recipe.   You think I’m kidding?  I’m completely serious.   But I’m going to blame this on the fact that I was craving mushroom stroganoff.

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Beer Battered Tilapia with Mandarin Oranges

After making deep-fried milanesa tilapia, I swore I would become more conscious about my health and avoid fried food.  I really should know better than to speak in absolutes, but I have no regrets.  After all, home made food is good for you, right?

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Tilapia Milanesa

Our latest cooking spree has been prompted by the arrival of 5 lb. of fish, all of which must be cooked within 7 days.  There is so much salmon and tilapia that the mild worry has arisen that we may get tired of eating fish.  Thus the plan is to find various recipes and hide the fact that we’re living off of tilapia and salmon for the immediate future.

This recipe was particularly worrisome.  For starters, milanesa is generally used with chicken, beef, or eggplant and I greatly enjoy the chicken milanesa.

But the majority of my apprehension arose from the fact that milanesa involves deep-frying the food.  You see, the entirety of my experience with any type of fried or deep-fried food come from the state fair.  Which I haven’t been to in 3 years.  And where I only ate funnel cake and avoided the the deep-fried oreos, coke, etc.

Naturally by the time I began to question my deep-frying abilities I was fairly set on having milanesa tilapia.  I decided that the safest way to deep-fry fish was to use a stew pot in order to minimize oil spray around the pot.  While it was certainly effective in keeping the stove top cleaner, there was much yelping as Tonks and I tried to flip the fish while avoiding the popping oil.

The tilapia was delicious, but I’ll admit that I quickly followed the fish with salad in an attempt to improve my health karma.

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